One Year Later...

I wanna take you back to February 24, 2012. A year ago. It was a Friday, and a particularly cold and windy night. Almost an erie chill in the air. If you can remember what you were doing that day and that night, think about how you felt. Because for two people, and their surrounding friends and families, their lives would drastically change forever.

I hadn’t seen Kevin in awhile, in at least 6 months. So when we FaceTimed, I was excited to see his smiling face. His hair was long and he had a beard. Lime green compression gloves adorned his hands. But he looked better than ever, and just as happy to be seeing me. As soon as I thought about the story I was going to tell for my class, I immediately thought of Kevin O’Toole. This remarkable young man has been through so much in the past year, and continues to surprise us all every day. And he does it while constantly making a joke. So when I asked Kevin if he’s ok with me using his name, “Sure. Doesn’t matter much. I’m basically a celebrity.”  

As Kevin lay on his bed, looking at me through his phone, he began to tell me about the night the fire almost took his life. When he woke up, the first words he heard were, “you’re not going to live past the next two weeks.” Frightened, yet full of hope, Kevin looked around the room. People filled it. Family, friends, friends of friends. There was so much support, it could literally be felt. 

Kevin, a firefighter in Bethpage, NY in Long Island, and Bladensburg, MD, suffered burns to over 52% of his body in a house fire here in Maryland. It was a wide spread story on the news across the country, that involved 7 injured firefighters, 2 of which were critically hurt. Ethan Sorrell was the other firefighter critically injured. He is the reason why Kevin is alive today, and Kevin appreciates him everyday for it, having a bond with him that only few could understand. Ethan had so many choices that night. He could have given up, but he told Kevin that, “if they couldn’t get you out, they would be burying both of us this weekend.” Kevin so many times wanted to give up, but when he saw who loves him and who would die for him, he fought his hardest to survive, and that he did. 

Time went on, and the doctors suggested that Kevin have his left hand amputated, as that was the worst part of him burned. They said he would never be able to use both of his hands again. They said he would never be able to walk. Not only did Kevin survive and is walking around as well as he did before the fire, he now has full use of both hands. He is even lifting weights and on the road to a full recovery. Kevin has beaten the odds that the doctors dictated he would never overcome, and continues to be an inspiration for anyone going through something tough; That good things can happen, with the love and support of friends and family. He knows that he couldn’t of made it through everything without those people. 

There was always someone at the hospital during the two months Kevin resided there. Lunches and dinners were provided daily by local friends, DC fire departments and the DC Burn Foundation. Country singers, The Zac Brown Band, even went as far as sending a signed picture wishing Kevin well. And if you had the chance to walk into Kevin’s room in the hospital, you would see how much love there was. Kids from elementary and middle schools made cards addressing Kevin to get better. A stuffed unicorn sat on the counter keeping watch. And patches sent from fire departments all across the U.S. represented the support of the “brotherhood”. Support was coming from all over the country, from all kinds of people. 

Kevin continued to use the word support as he spoke to me. Reiterating that it is the most important thing. Although the fire has drastically changed his life forever, it has been a big eye opener. When he is having a bad day or in a bad mood, he tries to get out of it as quickly as possible, because as he says, “you can’t carry on the bad things because at any minute you could be fighting for your life.” Now, a year later, the green compression garments cover the scars, but his beauty still radiates through.

For My Boys

This weekend came and went. It has caused so many emotions that I don't think I could put it all in one sentence. But before I go on to talk about everything I want to say something first:

Whether we live our lives by playing it safe or takings risks, there is always that chance of something happening. Something happening to the ones we love, one's we don't and the one's we don't even know. And because of that we need to appreciate everything we have in life, especially those people that are around us. Our friends, our family and acquaintances. Because when we're in need, who's going to be there for us? A fight isn't worth the damage it could cause. There should never be a time when you can't tell someone you love them no matter what. So next time you argue with someone, don't leave that moment without telling them that. That life is life. But love lasts forever.

Friday started out as any day. Kind of sunny (the weather has been terribly weird lately) and so windy it moved my car as I drove (and no it's not because I'm a bad driver). On my last post, and in my original plan, Kiara and I were going to try the pole dancing class at Xpose fitness and have a fun night preparing for banquet. Leaving from College Park, with the fitness class in Annapolis, we drove onto 295 and hit major traffic. We sat there for about 30 minutes, moving about only 10 miles and decided to say "screw this". Instead, we went back to College Park, got our nails done, ate pizza (which for some reason we couldn't stop craving. AND went to razti's, which I think is the best pizza, sober or drunk) and ran some errands. After shortly going home, getting ready and making plans, we drove to Bowie to hang out with some of my friends. We were there for about an hour or so when the texts and phone calls came in... Someone had been burned in a fire.

It then went to 6 people had been burned in a fire, all friends of mine, a few of them very close friends. Myself and the other four people I was with decided to drive to DC, to medstar, to see our friends. We arrived to the front doors where multiple 'brothers' were standing around waiting to figure out what was going to happen. And of course the first thing I wanted to know was when could I see them. After being told I had to wait, and it might be a few hours, I was able to get in. Through the crowd of people, and the sad faces, I found one of my friends who had minor burns, checked on everyone I could talk to, and saw Ethan from a distance. I then tried desperately to see Kevin O'toole, talking to anyone that I could, but he had been taken up to the ICU already.

The next day (Saturday afternoon) I went back to the hospital to see Kevin and Ethan. I first walked over to Kevin, where at least 15 people were standing around talking to him (this truly is what brotherhood is about). I then walked over to Ethan's room, where he was sleeping, and shortly after walked back over to Kevin's room. As I started to get upset from everything that was happening, I turned my back to walk away when I heard "Carly, Carly". It was Kevin calling me over to talk to him. Kevin and I have been good friends for awhile. We had just talked the day before, so he knew my plans for the weekend. And although it had only been such a short time since we had last spoken, I had longed to hear that ridiculous humor of his. And so.. (this is where I knew he was going to be OK).. in a room full of about 15 people (guys nonetheless) he asked me, "how was pole dancing??" The entire room was cracking up laughing, including myself, and I became incredibly happy to hear him ask that. I explained to him that we didn't go and the reason why, to which he said "your crying because of Ethan and not me aren't you?? Thanks!" Of course Kevin didn't stop talking (as if he ever does) and he proceeded to say, "I want to be in your blog." (So Kevin, this post is for you bud). This kid could make even the saddest of people, at the saddest of times, smile. He truly is a gift in my life.

The next day I went back to see them. This time baring gifts. Ethan had a room full of people, so I visited Kevin first. I had a stuffed unicorn for him. A pink and purple fluffy unicorn with huge eyes. It was one of those things you just couldn't help but smile and laugh at (see picture at the end). I hugged him and put the unicorn under his arm. And the best part, I have a matching unicorn pillow pet that looks oddly similar! I walked back over to Ethan's room and as most of the people started to leave, I walked up to him and showed him the stuffed giraffe I brought him. Ethan couldn't talk after suffering respiratory burns, so writing was how he communicated. He wrote to me "hi" which I in turn responded by crying hysterically (I can get very emotional) and he wrote "what's that? A retarded giraffe?" Which only made me cry harder, since I couldn't stop imagining him saying it in his North Carolina twang. Ethan and I have a very close, but difficult past. Everyone that knows us both, knows that we don't exactly make much sense. We fight and yell at each other, almost always when we're together or speaking to each other, which made this so much harder since we had been on bad terms when we last spoke. But it's the love between us that has kept us as close as we are, and friends no matter what. I was able to spend a few hours with him, as he talked and joked with me (that's the Ethan I know).

Over the past couple years I have grown to love and appreciate these boys and the fact that they are in my life. I am so glad they are safe, and are recovering. Please keep them in your prayers and thoughts as they continue to get better.

"If there ever comes a day when we can't be together, keep me in your heart, i'll stay there forever" -Winnie the Pooh

("retarded giraffe" and unicorn for Ethan and Kevin)

Warning: This May Offend You

This is only the third day I have been blogging, so (naturally) I want to put out a disclaimer for all my readers:

A blog - "a personal journal published on the World Wide Web" (Wikipedia). For those of you reading this, I have received many comments, and/or had many adverse reactions to what I have written. Well this is what I have to say about that; Don't read my blog if you don't like what I have to say. I am not writing this to make anyone feel better or worse about themselves. This is simply my own thoughts and reactions to what is going on around me in my every day life. I'm sorry if my honest comments and opinions offend you, but no one is forcing you to read this, so don't. In a world where there is free speech, free religion and the right to bear arms, why are we so worried about what someone else has to say, in a blog for that matter?! Whether I say it or not will not effect your day, help you or hurt you. Your negativity is not welcome. Find some place it is, because if you have a problem with a blog, clearly you have your own issues to worry about.

Now that I have cleared that up (and hopefully settled all the crap that has come within only the TWO posts I have written), I would like to talk about the exciting morning I had.

Basically, Best. Day. Ever.

As I walk into work, saying good morning to my lovely cousin, I sit down at my desk (yes I have a desk, so business woman of me) and start asking Jess about the long weekend she had. She gives a common answer such as "it was good", asks me how mine was, and proceeds to make a phone call. Now this is where the best part comes in. I hear her talking to someone about a class. A fitness class maybe? I'm instantly intrigued, as I have been wanting to figure out the best kind of fitness class for myself (I prefer group classes. I Just can't motivate myself when I'm working out alone. Run an hour on the treadmill? Eh, no one is making me. How about 10 minutes). Jess is reading some number on a little card hanging off her keys. And what does that little card say on it you might ask? Xpose Fitness! Yes. I think my jaw dropped when I saw this. For those of you who do not know what Xpose is, it is a pole dancing gym. They teach basic to level 4 pole dancing classes, chair dancing and "sexy stretch" (not quite sure what that even means, but I am so willing to find out). I have been wanting to take pole dancing for awhile now. Not only is it suppose to be one of the best workouts for your body, but come on, it looks ridiculously fun swinging from a pole (minus the taking your clothes off in front of complete strangers, but I'll take the cash).

Then it gets even better. I picked my jaw up off the back of my chair, and Amy (a woman who works in the office with us) asks me if Jess is calling Xpose Fitness. Wait?! You know about this too?? Apparently I'm the only one not fulfilling my dreams of learning how to dance on a pole. Jess finally gets off the phone and I am filled with questions. "You take those classes?" "Omg, how is it??" "Where is it??" (They currently have 4 locations). Amy is participating in the conversation and let me just say that by now, at around 10AM, my mind is just blown. THEN, Jess whips out two FREE passes to take classes at any Xpose location. Did you read what I just said? FREE. Oh I am elated. So overcome with joy that I get up, run (well more like fast walk so I don't look like a complete psycho) into Nick's office and show him my new prize. I didn't even tell him what it was as first. Just shoved the coupons in his face. As he started to read it his eyes started to get bigger (he was totally judging at this point) and bigger. At which point I had to ask if he wanted to learn to pole dance. He responded with a no and a 'get out of my office' sort of tone (the usual).

When I sat back down at my desk, my mind was still running a million miles a minute. "Do you think there are actual strippers there?!" Jess responds with a "I don't think so." Followed by hours later my roommates saying "I don't think real strippers take pole dancing classes." A more or less interesting topic to ponder about. I am very curious about all this (as if you couldn't tell). And how about heels?! What does one wear to a pole dancing class?? I would feel silly being the only one wearing high heels to work out in (although that has always been my dream. It being OK to workout in heels?? Count me in) but I would also feel silly not wearing them if everyone else was. And for clothes: the less the better? I think I just found myself a new gym.

A few hours later I received a group invite on Facebook. A group called: "Friends Who Xpose". YES. I am so in. Invited by Amy, it is a group for people alike who take classes at Xpose. Here, women can talk amongst themselves when and where they will be attending classes. Sounds like the kind of women I want to be friends with!

Needless to say, I couldn't wait to brag about my new coupons. And already have plans for Friday to go use them! I'm thinking a level 1 pole dancing class, finished with a sexy stretch?! Well that is if I can even move after attempting to hoist myself up on a pole. HA! Kiara is going to join me, kind of a pre-banquet date, followed by getting our nails done and some beauty sleep for the next day to come. After that my day just couldn't get any better. And although I wish I could be like "And then!" But this is not a fairytale, this is my reality. It was a normal day. I worked. I came home. I cooked and I cleaned. And now I am writing to you. My readers. To take my wisdom and honesty as it comes, and try a pole dancing class.

Day 2 - Blog Bust

When I said "bring it on President's day" in my last post.. I didn't know I was going to be so productive! Not only did I finally get the tuberculosis shot that I had been putting off for months, but I got to be involved in some ridiculous controversy, which by the way was kind of funny, well actually hilarious. But since I have been commanded (on my own blog mind you!) to stop my "cyber bullying" (yea, even I can't believe that term was used), I am just going to leave it at that.

So after my productive, and ab-hardening (I couldn't stop laughing), morning I went on my way to spend the rest of the evening at the firehouse, where I am currently residing. And on the way there, driving along the road with all the inconsiderable morons in PG county who cannot drive, a Mexican (of course) was riding his bike down the road, with what seemed like a cart attached to the bike. Not only was there a perfectly good sidewalk next to him, but he was swerving in front of all the cars that were driving at high speeds. Is this real life?! When I finally got my chance to pass, and try not to hit him, I noticed he was texting. Yes, texting while riding a bicycle. Is there a law against that?! If not, there should be. If I cannot drive and text, you Mr. Mexican-man cannot bicycle ride and text. I gave him a few honks and went on my way.

When I walked into the firehouse.. You know what the first thing I heard was, "so your blog..."

My blog has become a huge uproar so far, and I just started it last night! I have told everyone that has commented about it.. It does not matter if a blog is good, bad, funny or just plain stupid. What matters is the fact that people are talking about it. They are commenting, and if they have something to say, usually that means they are reading. So basically, what I am saying is that my blog has now become quite the success! And although the boys say they will never read this, everyone knows they secretly will.

Tomorrow starts another day back to work. My usual schedule. But what this week will be leading to is even more exciting. My firehouse banquet is on Saturday. My first banquet with my firehouse (I attended a banquet for another firehouse last year), and I am getting more and more excited each day. Accompanying me will be my lovely dates, Abby and Kiara (yes they are girls, since I would never want to bring a guy to something like this, what a train wreck that would be). It should be an evening to remember (or not). And it will not only be a fun time to spend with my boys, but someone I have not seen in a long time (4 months?) will be there.. A surprise that was recently ruined -_- (and yes Jessica I am stealing this face from you).

But hey, that's my reality! So I'm taking life as it comes and counting down the days till the weekend!

My first jump into reality

I'm 21, going on my 4th year of college, have my own house at the University of Maryland, get my gas paid for, and can pretty much go home anytime I want to get groceries, or anything else I might need. Feel sorry for me? I wouldn't. I kind of live the life any college student might want. So how in the world did I get an overdose on reality you might ask? Well.. it all started when I got home after a week in the Bahamas (I know, poor me)..

After having struggled (OK, well not really struggled) with the decision to stop going to school and find a job and live my life from there, I found a job as a marketing intern with a media company, working as a 'Rush Rookie' with an obstacle race. Kind of a perfect job for me. I use to study marketing, work well with people, am in the fire department (it's a firefighter themed race) and get to work with my best friend everyday, my cousin, Nick (you will learn much more about him later).

So I figured, this is gonna be great. I'm going to get paid to do something I will most likely enjoy, not have to go to school and figure out my life from there. Well, yes and no. I LOVE my job. I will shout it from the rooftops and tell everyone that asks me. It is the best job I have ever had. I love the people I work with (like my co-rookie Jess, who also has a blog, Here, you must check it out). We have so much fun bantering back in forth about what should we say to this person and check out this email, "this person is so rude!" to laughing at all the weird things other people say and do. And then theres the dreaded phone calls, which I found out I suck at because I sound like a freaking operator. But at the end of the day we laugh because most people, that aren't us, are so awkward on the phone. Like who answers the phone with a "hi"...? Maybe you can tell me your name? Or make sure I'm calling the right company? I'm not a mind reader.

But you know whats really hard?! Getting up at 8AM every morning! Oh my god that is the worst. Most of you fellow workers are probably thinking, "are you serious? That is late." Yea, well I'm not much of a morning person. I'm more of the 'get away from me before I stab you' person when I first wake up. That alarm on my phone goes off and I literally want to throw it across the room and crawl farther under my covers. When I finally do get up, it gets way easier. I can kind of move around and make progress. I sometimes make breakfast and then make lunch, because to buy a lunch for a day.. at least 10 freaking dollars!! I feel like I would just benefit by opening my own 'lunchery' and charge everyone insane amounts of money for food they could have bought for a third of the price at the grocery store. So I try to pack my lunch everyday. That is also hard. Because I never know what I'm gonna be in the mood for. And if you know me.. You know I love to eat. My desk could be a grocery store of it's own. I literally have everything you could want to snack on all day next to my computer. Cheez-its (low fat of course), 100 calorie snack packs, pop tarts, organic chocolate covered ginger and banana pieces (which are kind of disgusting), and my newest addition chocolate covered edamame.. Which I might add are pretty freaking delicious. As weird as that sounds, and they are healthy! Win-win.

As I said before that lunch is expensive, well food in general costs money, and it's not cheap when you want to buy unprocessed, healthy food because your sitting at a desk all day, inactive, staring at a computer and you don't want to become more of a fat ass than you already are! Now that I'm working, I have to pretty much buy my own stuff (with the exception of telling my mom I'm starving and broke and I NEED that.. Whatever 'that' may be). My friends would probably tell you I have expensive taste. And that I may have a slight shopping addiction. I just can't help it! I love pretty things. So it's been a big change having to pay for groceries along with all my other debts to pay off.

And what other debts can a 21 (well almost 22!) year old have?? Nordstrom. Best place in the entire world. Worst place to get a credit card. Whenever I need something, and don't have money, I just buy it at Nordstrom. However, there is the issue of it being 5 times more expensive then anywhere else. Need a dog bed? Yea I bought it at Nordstrom. But it was faux mink, huge and only $75 dollars! Plus Mason (my adopted rottweiler/shepherd mix) loves it! He also has the matching blanket. So now $600 dollars in debt later (and hey, Ive paid a lot off so far) I am trying to pay it off as much as I can at a time. But getting those Nordstrom emails does not help! So much I want to buy, so little pay check!

Bills. Bills. And more bills. Yes, I have to split the bills with my 4 other roommates and sometimes that can get difficult. Especially if I have bought too much that week before. And it doesn't make it any easier that the one roommate who collects the money and pays the bills is never here (she's a bit of a flake) and we have to make sure to pay up before she leaves for days at a time. I will talk more about my roommates at a later date, but that is a very extensive conversation and I do not want to overwhelm you more than I have.

So for now, I am working, paying bills and trying to buy other things I enjoy.. basically living my reality. Everyday is a new adventure. And I'm curious about what tomorrow might bring. Oh did I mention it's a 3 day weekend?! Bring it on Presidents day!